Couples therapy – understanding the interaction between you

Relationships are shaped by patterns that often arise without you really noticing. Differences in needs, communication, closeness or lifestyle can lead to recurring conflicts or silent distance. Couples therapy is not about assigning blame, but about understanding the interaction and the reactions that are aroused in both.

In the conversations we work both with understanding and with change: what is happening between you, what triggers, what creates distance and what actually brings you closer. I often use tools from Interactive Bemötande , especially when it comes to communication and contact, and sometimes also sexual psychological methods and exercises when the relationship contains issues of closeness and intimacy.

The difference between individual therapy and couples therapy

Individual therapy and couples therapy are two different forms of treatment – ​​and they work best when kept separate.

In individual therapy, the conversations are about you: your needs, your background, your patterns and your way of understanding yourself. In couples therapy, the conversations are about you: the interaction, the relationship, the communication patterns and how you both influence and are influenced by each other.

It is therefore not a simple or obvious transition from one to the other.

Can you go from individual therapy to couples therapy with the same therapist?

As a general rule: no.

When I have met a person individually for a long time, a natural asymmetry arises: I have a relationship, a pre-understanding and often a deep knowledge of that particular person. If the partner then enters the room, an imbalance is created that risks affecting the work.

In those cases, there are in practice three ways:

• Recommend couples therapy with another therapist, so that both meet as equals.
• Continue individual therapy with me, while couples therapy takes place at another clinic.
• Hold occasional joint conversations when needed to address specific issues about the interaction, without it turning into full couples therapy.

This is not about regulations, but about safety, ethics and quality of treatment. Couples therapy requires a balance where both partners feel that they meet on equal terms.

When couples therapy is the right form

Couples therapy is suitable when:

• the conflict lies in the interaction, not just with one of you
• communication is repeatedly difficult or vulnerable
• you feel like you're talking past each other
• old patterns rule even though you try to do things differently
• closeness or intimacy is difficult to achieve
• you want to understand each other better and create sustainable changes

The goal is not to make you the same, but to make you more understandable to each other.

How the conversations go

The conversations are characterized by clarity and structure. We explore both what is happening between you and how you can talk to each other in a way that creates security instead of defense. In the work, we alternate between understanding patterns, practicing new ways of meeting and creating more contact in everyday life.